Everyday Object
For some people their lives center on using computers, guns, cheese graters, or even gardening tools. However, for the ultra exclusive tree fort club at Heather Strout Academy their lives center around one object. Pokémon. Everyday after the bell rang Wade, Martin, Stengel, and Orlando would mount onto their huffy bikes and head for the fort.
This fort was unlike any other. It came fully loaded with a TV, various snacks, water guns, a hidden stash of playboy magazines, and of course Pokémon cards. The fort was a masterpiece. It smelt of fresh mahogany with a hint of ginger. For many years past the ancestors of the current members christened the fort with their own Pokémon battles.
This was a special weekend. The Biannual Pokémon Challenge was about to commence. The tournament will be held on the twenty acre field just outside the tree fort. There is a lot of history behind this tournament. In the first year of its creation Chet Stengel Sr (Stengel’s great-grandfather) lost his life while taking a thunderbolt to the chest. As a result of this a long time feud has been brewing between Stengel and Wade. It was Wade’s second cousin twice removed who delivered the thunderbolt that sent Chet to his grave.
The bracket for the tournament was capped of weeks before. The first battle was between great friends Orlando and Martin. Martin was the odds end favorite to win since he came from a long lineage of trainers.
“Oh boy, dad will be so proud if I won!” yelped Orlando. For years Orlando’s father had been against him competing citing that it would interfere with his school work. To his dismay Orlando sought to prove him wrong.
“Don’t count on winning, lightweight,” scolded Martin. Martin was the most intense. Previous to the tournament he spent two weeks training deep in the Himalayas. While there he aided Bear Grylls climb of the mountain range. He felt this was his year.
For this years tournament Albert Orchard was picked on to commentate the event. His brash attitude and knowledge of Pokémon made him the favorite choice.
“Ladies and gentlemen take your seats!” screamed Al. The tree house was packed with friends and family. Small chitchat flooded the fort as the announcers and score keepers went over the rules with the trainers. “Now could everyone stand, and sing the Pokelegiance.”
In unison everyone one sang, “I pledge allegiance to the Pokémon of the United States of America and to the trainers for which it perches: one realm under a supernatural being, inseparable, with suppression and dishonesty for all.”
“Brings a tear to my eye every time,” whispered Stengel wiping the single tear from his left eye.
The lights dimmed and a gentle fog filled the room. Orlando and Martin took there place in the center of the room while the other trainers went in the back for deep tissue massages before it was their turn.
“Participants please take your sides!” stated Al. Both Orlando and Martin stepped in front of the crowd, and shook each others hands. “Alright, is everyone ready?” The trainers nodded. “One, two, three gooooooo!” declared Al.
In the blink of an eye Orlando reached into his pocket and the thrusted out his first Pokémon of choice. A blind light erupted, and the room went into shock.
“It’s a level 200 Mewtwo, this has never been done before. Orlando must want to end this one quick,” screamed Al. The crowd watched in awe as their eyes glazed over as if they have just seen a ghost.
Martin looked across his partner in sheer panic than into the crowd to see his parent’s reaction. No one had ever started with such a developed Pokémon in their arsenal before. He had no choice, but to pick a Pokemon.
“I elect you Caterpie,” said Martin in disgust that Orlando would prevail. The crowd chortled knowing full well Martin would soon lose.
Mewtwo stared down his adversary. As quick as you could say cat scratch fever Mewtwo dashed across the room, seized Caterpie, and thrusted him down to the floor causing the fort shake. It was over this was a move no mortal could recover from.
“Ladies and chaps it looks like this fight is over,” announced Al. Orlando raised his fist in the air and declared this competition his.
Now only one more matched remained to decide who would duel in the finals. Weeks in advance a preliminary tournament was held just off the coast of Shanghai to determine the semifinals. It was in that tournament where Orlando illustrated his top notch skills. This illustrious tournament is known for having a few deaths every year. Sadly deaths have become so frequent the tournament just keeps on playing straight through.
“Everyone lets put our hands together for Orlando Frequently!” hollered Al. Orlando was welcomed with an onslaught of hugs from his fans. “Now we’ll take a short intermission before Stengel and Wade get underway.” Now is the time backstage where the next two trainers usually attempt to conjure a strategy. However, using the last battle as an example, it doesn’t always help. Some trainers use any means necessary to come out on top.
“Hahaha, I doubt Stengel will realize I put a splash of cherry Pepto-Bismol in his ovaltine,” said Wade as he quickly snuck out of Stengel’s tent. Wade was known for his conniving, but has never once been caught cheating. Wade did have all the skill in the world to compete without cheating, but he did what ever he could to ensure his way to the finals. The history between these two competing families is like no other. It was Wade’s second cousin twice removed who forced death upon Stengel’s great-grandfather. Stengel was out to seek revenge.
“Could Stengel and Wade please report to the stage,” announced Al. Stengel walked out with his good luck furby perched on his right shoulder. Wade kept a keen eye on Stengel, trying to see if he had yet suffered the affects from his ovaltine concoction.
“Alright, we should all know the rules by now, on the count of three you will begin,” stated Al. Each grasped tightly onto the pokeball there were about to hurl into battle. “ONE, TWO, THREE!”
For a split second the two glared at each other, than threw their pokeballs into the air.
“This looks like a nice display of strategy. Stengel is using his level one hundred one Onyx, while Wade has presented his level 98 Bulbasaur. The fight between the two went on for a good ten minutes. Each pokemon took, and delivered some hard-hitting punches. It looked as if no one was in the lead. However, Wade was capitivated by the fact Stengel has remained harmless from the ovaltine. The battle continued further, with each trainer calling on other pokemon to attempt to end the fight.
It seemed as though the battle was never going to end. Finally the two called in their pokemon. Stengel looked exhausted.
“Can’t take much more can ya, Stengel?” question Wade. Stengel remained silent. “What’s wrong, Pikachu got your tongue?” Stengel smirked.
“L-O-L,” returned Stengel. “I’ve just been waiting for the perfect time to put you away.” As soon as he finished his sentence Stengel tugged a super soaker from the back left pocket of his OshKosh B'Gosh jeans. “Sometimes you can’t rely on pokemon to finish the battle.” He pumped up his soaker and shot it at Wade’s chest. A brownish liquid shot from the end.
“What is this?” screamed Wade. Some of the liquid splashed onto his face and in his hair. He screamed realizing it was ruining his classic comb over look.”
“Joke’s on you, Wade. Though you might like some cherry pepto, huh?” returned Stengel. The crowed gasped in astonishment; some of the younger fans even began to cry.
“No, I’m allergic to cherry pepto,” cried Wade. As Wade cried Stengel projected more cherry pepto and ovaltine onto Wade. Wade looked stunned and began to cry. As the tears flooded the ground Wade rushed out of the battle. No noise was made.
“Well, what a turn of events. I suppose Stengel is our winner,” announced Al. The crowd booed Stengel off the field. As he galloped away Wade’s father approached.
“Listen up here Stengel, you better ain’t show your face round this side of town, ya hear me,” bellowed Wade’s father. Sadly he dropped out of Heather Strout Academy, and wasn’t able to learn proper English. Stengel acknowledged and walked away.
This was the end of day one of the tournament. On the next day Stengel and Orlando would face off, and one would be crowned victor. Winning the tournament was quite the accomplishment. News stations and TV crews came and covered the event. A plethora of awards and other accolades were awarded as well. Last years winner, Chevy Bernard, was give ten thousand dollars, a shoe deal with reebook (he called them Air Chevy), his own clothing line, and a record deal. In addition he is also currently staring in his own TV show called Much Ado About Chevy. The show is filled with great actors such as Bill Cosby, Drew Carey, and JLO Hewitt. Needless to say a lot comes from winning.
Before the competitors went home for a nice rest, the Pokemon council held a special dinner. Each was given a delicious hungry man with a side of apple juice ssips.
“Good luck tomorrow,” said Orlando while he stuffed his face.
“Thanks you too. I won’t do anything weird to you like I did to Wade,” returned Stengel.
“I know, you guys hate each,” said Orlando. The two finished up their dinner in silence attempting to play over the possible scenarios of tomorrow’s battle. For now all they can hope is that they trained hard enough to win the title.
After a long nights rest Stengel and Orlando awoke with only thoughts of victory, and possible record deals.
“Orlando, we want you to know whatever happens out there we love you, and hope for the best,” stated Orlando’s father. In response Orlando and his family engaged in a group hug.
“Thanks a bunch,” Orlando said.
“Before you head to the ring there something I would like to give you,” said his dad. In what seemed to be slow motion his dad pulled something out of his pocket. At first thought Orlando thought it was something from Zales, no Jared, actually neither. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to give you this. It’s my lucky retainer son. I had this during all my greatest accomplishments. Orlando gleefully took it, removed his retainer, and replaced it with his dad’s. His mouth immediately had the taste of Ozark BBQ Potato Chips, but he immediately shrugged it off.
“It’s a good day to be a dad!” said Orlando’s father as he smiled and winked at his son.
The finale was about to get underway in roughly an hour. Before the fight a ceremony was to take place. Trumpets sounded as both Orlando and Stengel made their way up the red carpet to the center of the battle field. Each waved to their fans. The two were awarded with the golden Pokémon pendant, which was given to them by the first of winner of the tournament, Parker Willewade.
“Boys, I’d like to congratulate you on such an accomplishment,” said Parker. It was hard to understand what he was saying. He was now eighty years old, and isn’t shy about smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. That was all he had to say, than he rode off on his segway to let the tournament come to its conclusion.
“Welcome back to the finale!” erupted Al. “I hope we’re all seated and ready to go, this ones gonna be a doozy.” As the two boys found their way to the stage a gentle selection of music penetrated their ears from the muzak. It was Olivia Newton John’s hit song Magic.
Finally they were ready. Stengel had his good luck furby on his shoulder, and Orlando had his dad’s retainer gently placed in his mouth.
“On my count boys,” said Al. “One, two, three!”
The two boys pitched their most excellent Pokémon into battle. Orlando had his Garydose, and Stengel his Blastoise.
“Two of the greatest water Pokémon ladies and gentlemen, you should feel privelaged to see this,” squealed Al jumping up and down in his seat.
The two Pokémon delivered staggering amounts of damage to one another. For the finale you could only use one Pokémon.
“Come on Blastoise, you can do it. Think of the TV shows you could be in,” said Stengel. This obviously gave Blastoise some confidence. He sent a hydro pump right into the heart of Garydose. Garydose fell straight to the ground shattering the ground below him. This caused Orlando to topple over, and his retainer flew from his mouth and onto the ground.
“Son, use it, use it!” screamed Orlando’s dad. Orlando looked up from the dirt and nodded coolly to his dad in confirmation. He snatched the retainer in his right hand and flung it towards Garydose like a Frisbee. As the retainer guided through the air a rainbow was emitted from behind. The retainer cut right threw Garydose and hit Stengel square in the head. It was over; no one could recover from such a blow.
“Ladies and gentlemen this fight looks to be over,” whispered Al. It was Orlando stood victorious. He had slain Garydose, and thankfully Stengel was unaffected from the blow.
“Yay!” roared the crowd as they engaged in ‘the wave.’ Orlando ran into the crowd and embraced in hugs with his family. The tournament was over, and shortly a congratulatory ceremony would be held.
“I hear by congragulate Orlando Frequently on winning the Biannual Pokémon tournament,” said Headmaster Strout. It was usual for the winner’s school headmaster to deliver the final service. Orlando was awarded with a trophy, and fifty thousand dollars.
In addition Orlando was given other prizes. He received a record deal, and started his own rap group called Orlando and The Heavy Hitters, the group reached no critical acclaim. He had his own shoe deal, with shoes called Airlandos, they too failed. He also appeared in various TV remakes of the Munsters and Leave it to Beaver. Like everything else they failed to reach success. In his final bid for fame Orlando stared in the movie Orlando Frequently and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Roger Ebert called it a “train wreck the minute Orlando stepped on the screen.” That was it; Orlando’s career was over, however you can now see him appearing on VH1’s Confessions of a Teen Idol Tuesday’s at ten.
